Sunday, November 29, 2009

what kind of family i have???? sickening

i really don know wat to say d. i started to anti everyone at home. ever since grandpa spoke to daddy in that way n what the "stupid lady" told my grandparents.... everything totally change. i know things wont go bak to the past. because of that incident i started not to talk to my aunt. i have thought of asking my dad to find another job or run his on business but i know it wont happen. he even say that if he were to run his own business then wat would happen to the current business which he put in all his heart n hard work inside the company. i just don understand why my grandpa behave in such a way. i know i don have the rights to judge on him,but he himself should know which son of him cares him the most. who is right n who is in the wrong.... why must he sound at my dad in that way??? why must he not trust my dad??? i decided not to go to new house after that incident but i still went there last the end i . found out that he somehow blame me for telling my mum wat my aunt did to me? Am i in the wrong??? maybe i shouldnt have told my mum. what is worst is i talk to him he somehow like don wanna answer me. this make me more heartache. but he wouldnt know how i feel.... so from that day onwards i decided that he call me only i ans i wont make any phone calls to him.... whatever he ask only i will do other than that don expect much from me. i really hate that stupid lady.... make my whole family into this condition.... who she think she is???? though my action is gonna hurt them but sorry i don wanna be hurt anymore..... they just know how to sound at us why don they sound at them???? i always think bout their difficulties but will they stand on our possition n think from our view.... i don wish the family members to break but what to do. every time prayers i told the god let my family members in good health, studies and everything goes on smoothly but what happen in the end... she try to ruin my family members...causing so many ppl to be upsad... i really don know how to communicate wif them anymore. i know my grandma cares us alot n i know she knows how i feel ..... but sorry i have made up my mind not to go there anymore. to stop all the arguements n stop from being blaming by other people i would rather not to go over. by this my life would be happier n no worries... if can i really wish that she does not exist o move far away but i know is impossible. wat to do forget bout it lor...

Monday, November 2, 2009

i don know my decision is right o wrong. i don know why i keep on thinking the same thing. is hard to move on. but nobody understands me. why. is it that difficult to have someone to talk to. i also don know. the scar that u leave behind is always there. i really don understand y. i really hope this would end soon. is not fair for u to be in this situation. but i wouldnt wanna let go. what shall i do?