what kind of family i have???? sickening

i really don know wat to say d. i started to anti everyone at home. ever since grandpa spoke to daddy in that way n what the "stupid lady" told my grandparents.... everything totally change. i know things wont go bak to the past. because of that incident i started not to talk to my aunt. i have thought of asking my dad to find another job or run his on business but i know it wont happen. he even say that if he were to run his own business then wat would happen to the current business which he put in all his heart n hard work inside the company. i just don understand why my grandpa behave in such a way. i know i don have the rights to judge on him,but he himself should know which son of him cares him the most. who is right n who is in the wrong.... why must he sound at my dad in that way??? why must he not trust my dad??? i decided not to go to new house after that incident but i still went there last week...in the end i . found out that he somehow blame me for telling my mum wat my aunt did to me? Am i in the wrong??? maybe i shouldnt have told my mum. what is worst is i talk to him he somehow like don wanna answer me. this make me more heartache. but he wouldnt know how i feel.... so from that day onwards i decided that he call me only i ans i wont make any phone calls to him.... whatever he ask only i will do other than that don expect much from me. i really hate that stupid lady.... make my whole family into this condition.... who she think she is???? though my action is gonna hurt them but sorry i don wanna be hurt anymore..... they just know how to sound at us why don they sound at them???? i always think bout their difficulties but will they stand on our possition n think from our view.... i don wish the family members to break but what to do. every time prayers i told the god let my family members in good health, studies and everything goes on smoothly but what happen in the end... she try to ruin my family members...causing so many ppl to be upsad... i really don know how to communicate wif them anymore. i know my grandma cares us alot n i know she knows how i feel ..... but sorry i have made up my mind not to go there anymore. to stop all the arguements n stop from being blaming by other people i would rather not to go over. by this my life would be happier n no worries... if can i really wish that she does not exist o move far away but i know is impossible. wat to do forget bout it lor...

i don know my decision is right o wrong. i don know why i keep on thinking the same thing. is hard to move on. but nobody understands me. why. is it that difficult to have someone to talk to. i also don know. the scar that u leave behind is always there. i really don understand y. i really hope this would end soon. is not fair for u to be in this situation. but i wouldnt wanna let go. what shall i do?

hope you will read bout it and give me a reply.....

the feeling you gave to me is hard for me to express...maybe you just don know wat you want.... i don know why are you avoiding me... maybe to u u aren't avoiding me but i do feel it... don know why this few days the same question keep on bugging me.... i don know whether shall i text u o what... but it seems that i text you you would nvr reply... you maybe thinking that i might think too much... but i do feel so... i just don know how to tell you... maybe you don know what you want o you just don like ppl to 'fan' you... maybe is because of my attitude i always text you makes you feel that i'm very 'fan'. i don know. you wouldn't wanna tell me anything. i'm so lost now... i sent you msg through msn you did not reply... i sent u through facebook you did not reply too.... i seriously don know wat you wan.... i'm so lost now......tell me what shall i do??? hope you will reply me as soon as possible......

hope you have read it... don find me anymore

to a cousin of mine

i just hope that after you finish reading this you wont find me anymore. you make me scare of you. i don't even know how to face you. is impossible for us to be together.... we have blood relationship... stop bugging at me.... u make me feel that you very 'fan'. don ever call me anymore.... stop asking wat happen to me.... nothing happen... is just that after the movie u say u wanna be my bf for one day.... u just makes me feel irritated.... i feel cold but u don have to touch me.... though we r cousin but u r playing the role which is more than a cousin.. i said i don need the bag u keep on push to me... you make me don know how to reject it.... then u come n hold my shoulder all of a sudden.... what is this mannn..... u r just too much.... don watse your money to sms o call me... i won't ans ur call.... no matter wat you do i won't fall for you... plz understand that there is a gap between us... n if u cross the gap... you will know wat will happen.... if u continues behaving like this i'll let your sister know what you said to me on that day.... n to be frank wif u.... i did not want to join you all for dinner is because i don know how to face you... i don wan you to have hope on it..... that's y i ask ah chen to send me home.... and i don know what i've done till you have this type of feelings towards me... but all i could tell you know is better stop loving me...o you will get hurt in the end.

1/07

i had a very terrible dinner today. hmm my dad will be going to overseas tomorrow... so he planned to take us out for dinner.... i suggested to go Teo Seng restaurant but my dad said he don wan. so we went to a shop that recomended by my dad... the food there was awesome. but who will ever think of the chef had a quarrel wif his wife n everyone is afraid of it. some customers even don dare to sit down to have a meal...

lol can hear so many harsh words comming out frm them... my mum ask my dad will ur children come here... n the best thing is the 3 of us said no.... then my youngest brother.... normally he will be the first person to finish eating n he will wait for us.... but this time he is the last to finish... he was like having a great time watching the drama.... my second brother even more funny... he cant even eat... he said it was just to noisy... what a day mann.....

have u ever experince this???? n the chef came n say sorry to us...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJxsgEqy14w&feature=related
everyone has his o her angel. but do i have mine???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGRDZKbzaQ8&feature=related
though is just 15 days but it is a sweet time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQwpji7onQA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw6YK1BUWSk&feature=related
how i wish someone would dedicate this song to me. haiz....

a sad day

things always go upside down. why must this happen? am i in the correct path o it is wrong frm the begining. i'm not regreting but just don want you to get in trouble. what shall i do? i don wanna end it but it seems like i have to? plz tell me wat to do? i love you n i don wanna let go... but will i be in the wrong if i don let go? can someone tell me what shall i do? will you let go the relationship o will u continue. i need a reply. will i end up get hurt again???? i don know??? i just hope it wont.think twice before any decision. don hurt me. n don hurt urself.